School cafeteria staples: Worst to best

School cafeteria staples: Worst to best

Ben GarciaMcKinley, Journalist

Imagine you’re in the cafeteria line, waiting to purchase your food. Today’s special is pizza. You’ve never tried it, but you think that, since it’s pizza, it can’t be too bad. You get your meal and sit down somewhere in the cafeteria. You bite into the pizza, but instead of tasting a delicious slice of heaven, you taste soggy, low quality dough, half-melted cheese, and limp pepperoni. Great.  This article will prevent you from buying on bad days. In this article, I will rank staples of the cafeteria from worst to best, and I will also give some reasoning as to why I gave it that rank.

My least favorite is pizza. Back in elementary school, they gave us Domino’s pizza, which was great. But now, West gives us this cruddy off-brand pizza from somewhere called Big Daddy’s “Primo” pizza. The name could not be further from the truth, at least the word “primo” in it. Its outer crust is far too low, on the same level as the cheese. But I’ll bet that most of the dough that could’ve made that characteristic edge rim somehow snuck UNDER the cheese and sauce and stayed there. That thick crust works like a sponge, soaking up the sauce, and turning the pizza into something similar to a wet dishrag with cheese on it.

Next on the list is wings and rings. I have personally never tried it, but i’m not really a chicken wing person. They’re too messy. And fatty. I do like onion rings, but knowing how much the school butchered pizza, I wouldn’t put it past them to do the same with onion rings.

Moving on, we should talk about drumsticks and snack waffles. I have had the pleasure of eating a waffle, which is delectable but I’m not really a chicken drumstick person. They have nasty skin and this weird slimy film on them. They also leave your hands looking like someone swapped the water line with a cooking oil line, and you washed your hands in it.

Now, we can talk about chicken patty sandwich. These are great and almost always a viable option, but they’re too small, and I wish they still came with waffle fries or tots. I always liked placing the waffle fries on the sandwich, which was very tasty, and who doesn’t like tater tots? Now, they come with one of those only every so often, which is a shame, because we would buy way more if they did more frequently.

Now, we’re onto top 3. This is nacho supreme. It tastes great, is very customizable, and I love pretty much everything that has ground beef in it, but the chips are a bit too big, and it is pretty difficult to make real nachos without making a mess of your tray, too. 

And in second place, walking tacos. I love pretty much everything about these. They use Doritos instead of those bland corn chips they use with the nachos. It tastes great and is not too messy. They give you plenty of chips and meat, and you can eat it right out of the chip bag. 

Now for the king of the cafetorium: Dutch waffle. It is perfect in every way. It has so many light, fluffy ropes of sweet and savory dough wadded together for maximum syrup retainment. It has delicious sides of savory sausage patties and potato emojis. It is the peak of cafeteria foods in all ways. My only complaint is that the waffles are far too small.

So there you have it. A list of the best and worst cafeteria foods. Let us hope this will help you make your next decision in the line. BYEEEE!!! 🙂